Dad's Notes

Dad’s Role in Growing the Kids

dad role in growing kids

Many people say a mom has a strong bond with her children. I think that’s true. Children had once resided in their mom’s wombs before they were born into the world, from where there came the bond between them.

So what about dad as the ‘external party’? Dads, no need to worry about it. Dads also take a prominent role in the growth of kids. The emotional bond between dads and kids has a very large effect to the emotional intelligence of kids which will be brought up to their adulthood. Hence it is of great magnitude to build an INTERACTION between dads and kids which is already on the way to start from the earliest stage: when kids are still dwelling in the realm of the spirits.

How is a dad supposed to build and strengthen the emotional bond with the kids in addition to carrying out his principle duty as the head of the family who must work for a living? Here are some good tips. On the same way, you can find a comprehensive and valuable view from Lisa Hayden at ParentsNeed about the significance of paternal bond and encouragement for dads in raising their kids.

So Dads, pay attention please:

1. Prenatal preparation
A dad-to-be can already start his role when the baby has his/ her home in the womb of mom. Taking good care to his wife during her pregnancy arises ‘a good impression’ for the baby inside. Gentle rubs on the belly and a talk with the baby is one form of good ‘introduction’ to the baby.

2. Active care for the baby
Now the baby is already present in the cuddle of the parents. Daddies please don’t be sluggish to learn to change diapers, wipe the bottom and genital area, stick into water, and nurture the baby. If that is done, it is believed to continue to carry into the future. Many dads are reluctant to do this. If it continues this way, do not be shocked to find the kids out of intimacy to their dads someday.

3. Play together
When a kid goes through the toddler stage, spend time with him/ her playing, reading books, or any activities that can be fun for a baby who starts to crawl, learn to talk or walk. Create games that will excite him/ her.

4. Get involved in kids’ social life
When a kid encounters school age, he/ she is starting a whole new social life. Try to get involved in your child’s social life by recognizing the names of his/ her friends or teachers –for instance-, with whom he/ she interacts, and what activities are to get into.

5. Be a good listener
How busy we are, take the time to listen to the story of the kids. Let them chatter about anything. Show attention and give constructive responses. This is important to get the kids used to openness to us. That way, they will feel having the perfect place to talk and express their feelings. By being a good listener, in addition to openness, you will make your kids used to expressing something.

6. Good communication
Keep communicating even when you’re not around them. When at the office, for example. Give a little time to call home and have a little chat with kids. With good communication, kids will always feel close to dad even he’s physically absent. Kids will also understand that dad is not around because he is working for a living.

7. Trust your child and give freedom
Be a dad who gives freedom and be able to trust your kids. Your trust will make them grow to a person with confidence and independence. Do not dictate kids to do things as we’d like to. Instead, give them choices.

8. Treat kids as they grow
the more age increases, the more kids’ needs grow. It’s not worthwhile to force and assume the kids are still little creatures and treat them like babies.

For dads, please practice. And for dads-to-be and those who at least have been imagining to be  dads, you can keep it for your reference. Hope you’ll find them useful.


A husband. A dad. A bank worker. Loves to share in writing about the art of being a dad for the kids.

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