As I had to move out of town for my assignment work early in this year, my two kids (10-year-old girl and 6-year-old boy) shown up a retention to my ‘decision’. Thankfully –as time went by, Rasha –the elder one- proved that she could get along with the situation. But Attar -her brother- didn’t walk on the same way. He kept whimpering and clinging to me more.
At the outset, I didn’t take it a big deal as I thought time would eliminate his whining behavior, until I found myself mistaken. As my wife told me, I found that the absence of me had brought about behavioral degradation on my boy. He kept active as he always is, but his study results at school showed a significant decline.
Understanding this situation, I decided to do something to resolve this matter. While I was away, I kept communicating with my boy –and all those at home- availing phone calls, Whatsapp chats, and video calls. This is to strengthen the bonding between dad and kids despite the disparities of time and place. When at weekend, it’s family time by all means.
Thank God that this worked. My boy had turned around getting his feet back on the ground. Having been overwhelmed with this new experience, he now accepts dad absence on weekdays, and gets his life normal again.
Well, all I need to share is the importance of dad being around his sons to sentinel their development physically and mentally. If a dad fails to manage this, such a big dread of losing the boys hangs over in the air, as informed by Wayne Parker -fatherhood expert- with his research results that come up to be the reasons:
Complicated Identities. Boys who grow up in dad-absent homes are more likely to have trouble determining their appropriate sex roles and gender identity.
Behavioral Disorders. 85% of all children who have behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes.
Delinquency. Only 13% of juvenile delinquents come from families in which the biological mom and dad are married to each other. By contract, 33% have parents who are either divorced or separated, and 44% have parents who were never married.
Educational Achievement. Kids living in single-parent homes or in step-families report lower educational expectations on the part of their parents, less parental monitoring of school work, and less overall social supervision than children from intact families.
High school dropouts. 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes.
Aggression. In a longitudinal study of 1,197 fourth-grade students, researchers observed “greater levels of aggression in boys from mom-only households than from boys in mom-dad households.”
Achievement. Children from low-income, two-parent families outperform students from high-income, single-parent homes.
Criminal Activity. The likelihood that a young male will engage in criminal activity doubles if he is raised without a father and triples if he lives in a neighborhood with a high concentration of single-parent families.
Drug Use. A study from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services concluded that fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse.
Suicide. This is the worst thing. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes.
As those are derived from research results in the U.S., we at anywhere can have the opportunities to take them a good learning in grabbing our boys in the right way, and make sure our young men to grow up with the right hands.