Woman, the Stronger One

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Kita pasti pernah mendengar kisah Siti Nurbaya. Juga, sebuah tembang lawas dengan petikan lirik begini: “…wanita dijajah pria…” Ya, kalau kita amati baik-baik, keduanya ‘ngetop’ di zaman dahulu, alias jadul.

Realitasnya, memang itulah situasi yang dialami para wanita pada masa itu. Wanita selalu berposisi subordinat dibandingkan pria. Tak heran, kala itu sering dijumpai kenyataan dan pernyataan seperti ini, “Buat apa wanita bersekolah tinggi-tinggi. Toh, pada akhirnya dapur juga tempatnya.” Akibatnya, banyak terjadi perlakuan tak semestinya yang harus diterima perempuan. Tak peduli apakah yang salah adalah pihak perempuan atau yang laki-laki sekalipun.

Apakah bisa dibenarkan dikotomi antara laki-laki dan perempuan seperti itu? Padahal, dalam tuntunan agama, wanita ditempatkan pada posisi yang mulia. Nah, berarti selama ini ada yang salah dong.

Saya pribadi turut prihatin dengan kondisi ini. Saya bukan aktivis feminisme atau yang memperjuangkan kesetaraan gender. Saya hanya mencoba berempati kepada stigma yang menempel kepada para perempuan selama ini (atau lebih tepatnya, zaman dahulu).

Kalau para lelaki mau jujur nih, sebenarnya harus malu kepada para perempuan. Karena, sesungguhnya perempuan LEBIH KUAT dari laki-laki. Secara mental iya. Secara fisik juga iya. Secara fisik? Bukannya laki-laki yang lebih kuat? Sekali pukul wanita pasti KO… Kalau untuk adu otot memang iya. Tapi untuk soal ketahanan terhadap tekanan, perempuan lebih kuat lho dibandingkan laki-laki.

Di tulisan ini, saya sebagai laki-laki mencoba introspeksi untuk diri saya sendiri. Saya bisa melihat betapa kuatnya wanita dari istri saya sendiri. Saya ambil pengalaman kelahiran kedua anak kami sebagai contoh kasus. Begini, proses kelahiran kedua anak kami sama-sama melalui operasi caesar. Pada kedua proses kelahiran itu istri saya mengalami rasa sakit hebat saat pembedahan dilakukan. Padahal, pada umumnya wanita yang melahirkan melalui proses ini tak merasakan sakit sama sekali, karena dibius. Bahkan, mereka tak perlu mengalami kontraksi seperti kalau melahirkan secara normal.

Istri saya mengalami kesakitan saat perutnya dibedah karena otot punggungnya tak begitu mempan menerima efek pembiusan saat punggungnya disuntik bius, sehingga zat-zat bius tak berfungsi sempurna mematikan rasa di sekitar perut. Dampaknya, dia tetap merasakan sakit.

Bisa dibayangkan, istri saya harus mempertaruhkan nyawanya demi melahirkan anak kami. Sementara dia sedang bertarung melawan sakit di meja operasi, saya di luar cuma bisa duduk-duduk di ruang tunggu. Memang, selama proses operasi saya selalu cemas dan tak henti berdoa untuk keselamatan istri saya. Tapi tetap saja, saya tak merasakan apa yang harus dirasakan istri saya di dalam. Bahkan kalau mau, untuk menyingkirkan rasa cemas, saya bisa saja membaca koran atau mengutak-atik ponsel saya untuk mengecek email atau mengintip blog saya.

Karena itu, setiap kali proses kelahiran kedua anak kami selesai, saya langsung menemui istri saya di ruang pemulihan. Saya menjumpainya dalam keadaan belum sadar, setelah berjuang melawan rasa sakit itu. Saya selalu menitikkan air mata di situasi itu. Saat itu saya benar-benar merasakan betapa istri saya jauh lebih kuat dari saya.

Tak salah, mengapa kita sering mendengar nasihat untuk anak agar jangan sampai menyakiti hati ibunya. Tak salah juga, mengapa surga disebut berada di bawah telapak kaki ibu.

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