Dad's Notes,  Family Time,  Work-Life Balance

Working Mom vs Traveling Dad

It’s been two years after my wife quit her job, and it’s been one year after I moved to work out of town. The two consecutive episodes in which our kids revealed objection yet they knew they had to get along with both of them.

Throwback, I and my wife were two working parents, dealing with the same industry, banking. Working in service industry in a severe competition brought us to spending overtime for work. Reaching our doorstep beyond lullaby time was the normal situation for us. Real crazy.

We never had enough time to gather ‘round with our kids. When we got home, kids had slept away. When they just got up in the morning, we set off to go to work. Real nuts.

The most dramatic, our kids –who were at kindergarten and toddler age at the time- spent more time with our elderly household assistant than with their parents, and they even called her Nenek (equals to Grandma). Can you believe that? Real insane.

Thankfully, the time for a change had come. My wife made a big decision: quitting her job. She sent out her resignation letter when she was just at a sparkling career path: just having been promoted to Branch Manager position. That’s why I called it a big decision. A sacrifice as well, so called.

I’m so sure you can imagine how happy our kids were. It felt like having their parents back for them. Their mom had dedicatedly turned out to being a real mom. Blazers, laptop, and all other official stuff were all put off! Casual clothes and slip-on shoes came up to be her new style then. Her ‘business’ now is taking the kids to and fro the school.

Six months elapsed. The story turned to mine. The bank I work for assigned me to its office out of town. It means I had to leave my family for a week time. The kids restarted the march for protest. Not a second time ‘losing’ their parents again. They remarked a unity.

I did understand this was a challenge. I knew as well this was a good chance to make them understand that this is life. We are not to stand still, but changes are always along the way. This time, our kids had both been in elementary school stage, and along with their mental and thinking growth, it was the good time to explain to them and make them understand.

Thankfully, once again, things go well with this situation. We have managed to match the same ‘frequency’ in our daily life. My wife is living with the kids on Mondays to Fridays keeping an eye on their physical, educational, social, and spiritual development. Along with the line, I’m a traveling dad fulfilling for a living while undertaking a remote supervision to my kids’ growth.

And weekend, the time we are always waiting for! This is the WE time! Staying just at home together; going out for music school, shopping mall, eating out; escaping to mountains for a short vacation; this is really our QUALITY TIME.

And I said to my kids, “This is our way of life, my Dears.”

A husband. A dad. A bank worker. Loves to share in writing about the art of being a dad for the kids.

10 Comments

  • Ellen

    It sounds as if you and your wife make a great team! I was an at-home mom for 3 years and then only worked part-time until my two children were in high school. Being a full-time mom was the best decision I ever made! My husband traveled fairly often, but my being home made family life go smoothly. My children are grown and now I look forward to grandchildren. 😀

  • Joleisa

    Make the very best of the time you have with them. And also hope that they keep the memories alive with them. This is how they know how to be there for their own kids. In no time they grow up and are gone from your house! Don’t forget too, that it will be their decision about how you are cared for when you get older.

  • Anshika

    The best thing is you guys are there for your kids and that’s what is important! Your kids will be understand your sacrifices.

  • Alex

    I am lucky that I have been able to be a stay at home mom for the last 14 years while my husband works. I remember when our 4 year old was around 15 months my husband had to be gone for months at a time for his job. It was so difficult for us all, but if I wouldn’t have been able to be at home life would’ve been so much harder than it was.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

%d bloggers like this: