Work-Life Balance

Working Mom or Stay-at-home Mom?

My wife had quit her job on July this year, after dedicating herself in banking world (just like me) since 2002. Yes… for 14 years. When the decision was made up, it seemed to be an easy thing to pick up, yet it had been only the top of a giant iceberg indeed. What hanged down beneath the water was such a big obstacle which had brought ups and downs. Somehow, going back home as a mom and a wife was likely to bring her to a whole new world.

So excited and passionate to be a true mom. From this moment on, there will be no more office hassles, colleague frictions, boss’ fussy argumentations, and –the most important- ‘abnormal’ working hours. Moreover, our kids welcomed their mom very joyfully. They revealed a great enthusiasm to have mom back home.

That’s right. Kids were the ultimate reason for my wife to end up her adventures in office works. Our two kids who are growing onto elementary school grade clearly call for their mom’s affection and touch. They have been longing for mom to send and pick up them to and from school every day. Just like most of their friends’ moms do. And all these days our kids have been really enjoying having their mom stick around. They’re so happy.

So, it’s plain to see what happened then when my wife declared to get back to office. Wait! What is it all about? What kind of joke?

‘Honeymoon’ is over
Well, that’s the fact. So heart-breaking to hear that, especially for the kids. “What? Mom’s going back for work?” My eldest kid was shocked. “Please don’t go out for more,” the younger one shouted in the same way.

After spreading intimacy to kids for about three months, the ‘honeymoon’ is over now. It was exactly two weeks ago when an owner of a local micro lending bank made a phone call to my wife hiring her for a position in the bank. In short words, my wife got interested with the offer and asked for my approval.

And I said yes. Have I had myself insane?

I had a consideration for this: one, I remarked that my wife put our kids as thing first. No leaving the house from a.m. to p.m. and without attachment to kids. My wife was willing to fulfil and succeeded to get the deal with her boss that she assumes working hours only up to 2 p.m. in order to switch the time for picking up kids from school, and then the rest will be the time for kids. Can you believe that?

Two, for me, as my wife takes up an official work up to 2 p.m., it will be the same as she took up work-at-home-mom activities during her ‘recess’ time. Since the final purpose is one: making money for additional income. There’s one thing in common: the activities take place when our kids are at school. This way, the kids won’t miss the puzzle flakes.

The two points of guarantee succeeded to satisfy our kids. Here I recall, kids are of top priority!

Moreover, there are two more points we take into account for insight:
Bringing together. Rather than clashing the work matter and non-work matter for a balance, we prefer to think about keeping them in harmony. Like a piece of music in which not all instruments play the same notes at the same time and intensity, life has moments when it finds itself out of balance, but things can get along together.

Flexibility. A balance of work and life can be reached with flexibility. Even a relation with employers in work circumstances should be negotiable for a result oriented work. In this situation, where and when an employee works is less important than the results that they deliver. But even if your employer is more traditional, look for opportunities to have a little more flexibility in when and how you work, giving you more opportunities to be at home when it really matters, as said by Wayne Parker, a fatherhood expert.

So, whether a mom should work at office or work from home or just purely stay at home, it’s a choice. Our respective family milieu does have the answer. One thing important, it’s so good to have things come together.

A husband. A dad. A bank worker. Loves to share in writing about the art of being a dad for the kids.

One Comment

  • Ken hanaya

    Very good article. My wife was going to quit her job too kbut was able to convince her boss on a schedule change which allowed both of us to be be home mon-fri for the kids. Im off sun-tues and shes off wed-fri. Thanks for sharing

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